I had a discussion with my mom this morning about removing the comic from print and all that's been happening. It was nice. See, I've been feeling like this massive failure because I couldn't make this work anymore. I still feel sad, but having someone I respect come out and say "you stuck by your principles and did what's best for you and Matt" really helped.
And she never once said 'I told you so'. You know, she was really against this whole leaving the library field thing at first. And yet, earlier today when I told her a part of my dream has died, she didn't give me crap. (This is a woman who's perfectly willing to tell me when I've screwed up, by the way. She's no mollycoddler.) She listened and started brainstorming ideas to move the art in new directions.
She's convinced I'd make a good painter. I swear, you paint a mural as a teenager and you never live it down. *laughs*
Going back to librarianship didn't even come up until I mentioned the few openings I've seen available lately. And then she asked me what I thought of them, my interest in doing so, and said to wait until the moving / not moving situation was sorted out.
It's weird. I've tried to do all I could to gain the respect of my readers and fellow creators. I'm pretty sure I've failed there, badly. Instead, it seems I gained the respect of my mom. I have no idea how that one happened.
So yeah, it's an odd anniversary for CN:H this year. It's one of those 'you're not quite sure how you feel' sort of things. It's weird.
Anyway, I doodled this while talking with Mom. I'm really starting to love this blue pen. It's wonderful to sketch with and doesn't react to the markers.
Speaking of markers, I need to clean those again soon. Something about the heat seems to make the ink run and glob over everything. Some of them are getting a little sticky.
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you."
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
8 comments:
That must have been a lonng conversation with your mom, because this is a really, REALLY nice "doodle!"
I don't know if it's what you intended or not; but, I'm really entertained by the lion and unicorn sticking their tongues out. :-)
Most importantly... How could you possibly think you don't have your readers' and peers' respect??? With as many times as I've seen CN:H mentioned (in -good- ways) on other forums SOMEone must be paying attention! -I- certainly do!!
I see it like Iron Ed. Also, there is nothing going to stop you bringing it back to print again, if the time is right for it somewhen in the future, right?
As Ed said I do not think you lost any respect. In fact I believe you may have gained some for making such a difficult decision.
I love the artwork. :=3
@Iron Ed: Thanks. Yeah, Mom and I usually talk for a few hours. I only call her about every other week or so.
As for the respect thing, I get a lot of flak. I want to help and do nice things for people, but some people only seem upset that I'm not doing stuff for everyone. I run out of energy.
@Hex: Thanks. There are a few personal, private reasons that would stop it from coming back into print. If the time every becomes right again, I'd bring out another title. I've a few knocking around in my head.
@LionkingCMSL: Thanks. Comic creators are kind of weird at times. I look at the business side of things differently than many of them do. Neither way is right or wrong, just different.
Hey Darc,
There's an old saying "You can please some of the people some of the time but never all of the people all of the time." You will always find people willing to criticize and complain. Even professionals have different ideas of how to do things "right" in their fields. Listen but learn to critique their comments before accepting that they are right.
Art is probably the worst and easiest field to get criticisms in. That's because everybody has their opinion on what is and is not good art. But few people understand how hard the work can be. And with each artist having their own styles even they won't always agree on what is good art.
You obviously have the respect of your readers. That's why we stay with you and wait for you to give us more of a comic we love and samples of your artwork outside the comic.
As for your fellow creators, some will be jealous and refuse to admit you do good work, others might feel you aren't doing it in "proper" comic style, still others might not have really looked at your work to see how you've improved from the first days of CN:H. And others will have higher standards than anyone can reach.
But, there are other artists who have seen your work and are impressed. I've seen their comments. One thing I've noticed about artists is that all of you suffer from self-confidence when comparing yourself to other artists in the field. Especially when it comes to financial success.
I've watched you grow as an artist for several years now. I rejoice when you share improvements/accomplishments/good news, sorrow when you criticize yourself too hard/have health issues/bad news, and accept when Life comes knocking and you have to make changes to what you do for CN:H.
All in all, I want you and Matt to do what's best for the two of you. It has been my privilege and pleasure to read CN:H and I hope to see more as I love the story. However, that's not my choice and I respect you no matter what choice you make.
One last thing, as a mom I can tell you this - we are proud of our children even when we don't agree with their choices. It's hard to step back and let our children make their own choices, we want to protect them no matter how old they are. We just want to know that we're still needed so we continue to give our opinions. Some of us are more determined in sharing than others. Hehehe.
Hey Darc,
I just wanted to tell you that you have my respect and that's not something that I just give away lightly. It's something that needs to be earned, and you certainly have earned it with what you have accomplished over the last 11 years. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but you have it all the same.
Thank you for 11 years of blood, sweat, tears and ink.
Tyler
Hi Darc
I want to share something that happened at my camp I went to. dont worry, it's perfectly relivent Every night, the parents would all get together and have a few bears and chat and all. me being teen staff, i had to cabin sit.each time I did, i watched over my friends cabin with him and his little sister. The topic of CN:H came up and Katherin( my friends sister) wanted to hear some of the comic. so for the next three nights, i told her from memory the prologue and first two issues. She absolutely loved it! She got so in to it that the next time we meet up, Im going to tell her more of CN:H! SHE CANT WAIT!
I feel as if you dont give yourself enough credit. Even with all the flack people give you, you have still managed to get through 11 years of comic book writing and illustrating. That says a lot. My life sure wouldnt be the same without CN:H. And you sure made a difference in Katherine's life. And honistly, forget about all that negative stuff. Focus on the posetives and what you think is right. Anyway, myself and Katherine hope, and im sure all your other readers hope, that you continue to make CN:H for years to come.
@Ilnara: Thank you! *blush* I'm sorry for being such a mope lately. Stuff's been building for a while and having to change things has been difficult. I know it'll work out for the better, but at the moment everything's chaos. Heh. Thank you for putting up with all this.
@Tyler: Thank you. *hugs* Sorry for all this mess. I'm working on improving things behind the scenes to help make the commissions run smoother so I can keep those and the comic running at the same time. I'm going to start branching out to pet, and horse, portraits in a few months. Maybe some painting if I can get a handle on those. The move I can do the better. :)
@Scott: Awesome! I'm glad she enjoyed it. Thank you. *blush* I will. A lot of the chaos and change is me trying to find a way to keep CN:H running while bringing in an income to help cover bills. Everything's in such a flux at the moment, it's been crazy. I'm sorry for all this. Thanks. :)
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